I have been checking my email every five minutes waiting to hear from an insurance broker to get health insurance now that we are unemployed. I saw an email that I didn't know. I opened it assuming it was yet another agent rejection. I hadn't been expecting a letter from the publishers because their sites all state it takes 4 months to hear back.
I opened the email with the care of a bomb squad officer, finger poised on the delete button. The word Congratulations jumped out at me. What the...
Cedar Fort Inc. wants to publish my book. There was only one thing to do at a time like this... cry.
I started crying and held my phone out to my mother in the chair next to me. She let out a whoop of excitement. I was still crying by the time Jarom got there 15 minutes later. His face clearly said "Now what?" After I stammered out that he was married to a soon to be published author, he squeezed my guts tighter than any corset ever could.
Four months ago today, I decided to write a book. It seems like the journey has been a rollercoaster that went on forever, but in reality I think that it's been really fast. Talking to some new author friends of mine, I understand it can take up to a year or more before your writing sees the light of day.
I am so lucky. I couldn't have done it without lots and lots of help. My husband is my rock and my earplugs that help me tune out the world. When everyone else was telling me how unlikely it was that I would get published, Jarom stood by me and kept the voices at bay.
I also know that I probably had some divine intervention. Or at the very least a guardian angel sitting on the acquisition editor's shoulder.
A year and a half ago I was contemplating whether or not someone could die from self loathing. And if so, was that considered suicide? I stopped trying to do anything because in my heart I felt I wasn't good enough. If I wasn't as good as so and so, well then I was a failure. Better to just give up.
Today I am going to be a published author. The change didn't come from losing weight, though it is nice not to be fat anymore. It came from learning the simple truth that I needed to stop quitting on everything in my life...including myself. Becoming a finisher has changed my life or maybe gave me a better one. That's why I wrote this book. Not because I wanted to be rich and famous. (Because I have no delusions about that, especially after I realized only major authors get advances. The rest of us get royalties, so I would need to sell a bagillion books to make any money)
I really believe in the Koolaid I'm drinking. I want to help others overcome the failures of their past and realize that to be successful, you only have to finish what you start. With each new accomplishment the past starts to fade away and you realize, "Yes I can!" Because you have proof piling up with each new thing you finish that you can show that little negative voice in the back of your head. I don't have to be the better than everyone else to be successful in life. That's where the Philosophy of Finishing came from, when I realized that not everyone can win the race, but everyone can finish it.
So long post I know. But I just had to share my "testimony" so to speak. I know there is lots of hard work ahead. I'm supposed to come up with my own marketing plan to sell this book. ugh. Unfamiliar territory again. But with the help of new friends and lots of Google searches, I'll figure it out. Here's to the continuing Journey.